The (not so) Secret Life of a Cat Lady

I've done it!  I've started counting calories and quit the Dr. Pepper.  EEEK!! I'm doing it and there is nothing anyone can say to stop me.  I have made the decision to have gastric bypass in the spring and I have to begin now preparing for the surgery.  I don't mind at all, in fact I'm probably the most excited I have been since Harry Potter 7 came out!  My health has been iffy for years and though I am not ill because of being overweight as much as I am overweight because of being ill, I struggle daily with aches and pains I know will likely go away once I have this surgery.  The only thing I am stirring over is what will my head look like on a thinner me!?  I haven't been thin enough as an adult to know what it would be like to BE thin. 

I know I have a million changes ahead of me and by starting now I am assuring myself that I AM prepared to make those changes.  I will miss cheesecake and chinese food, I won't be able to indulge in those as much as I have in the past.  I can do without the sodas and even some of the starches ( I still get bummed at the thought of not having rice or potatoes).  And I don't even mind giving up my carne asada burrito, I want to be healthy again, errr as healthy as I can be anyway.  I know my seizures won't stop, they don't have anything to do with my weight.

More than anything, I am looking forward to all the opportunities that will open up to me after this.  I want to be an anthropologist and work in the field but until now I was afraid that wouldn't happen.  Now I see that it is very possible.  I want to get married and have kids and although I don't doubt it could happen right now, I feel the physical changes I am going to under go will only further strengthen my emotional wellbeing and prepare me for those blessings. I have denied myself the blessings of Sunday services and the temple because of low self esteem and poor self image.  Selfish I know but very true.  I know in my heart that the Lord will forgive me, I just have to let myself be forgiven and accept the blessings that will come from all of this. 

I know my Redeemer lives.  I know that I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father whom I love with all my heart and soul.  I know that I will be given the eternal blessings that He has in store for me when He feels I am ready for them.  The gifts that I have been given are immeasurable and sacred.  I pray everyday that I will be stronger, happy, healthy, and above all, humble and patient enough to hear the voice that will guide me through my life.  I am grateful for everything I have.

A lazy day is what I deserved and so I allowed myself to indulge in sleep and buffalo wings.  The extent to which I vegetated included cookies and cream and Tim Burton movies.  The most extreme action I took part in today was keeping the outdoor kittens from following grandma down the driveway.  A long week of headaches, matricualtion, little girls, and physical therapy, concluded with an honors paper about a French revolutionist, further fueled my desire to do NOTHING!  And so, Saturday was my lazy day and starting tomorrow I will be alert and aware of the things that I ought to be doing before the morning of the Monday that follows. 
As for now, I giggle and admire my kittens and their spunk.  Their tenacious and excuberant nature that permits them to do almost anything.  I envy their never ending energy and their tiresome antics. And I love them for their eternal unconditional love they give to me.

I am content being a cat lady.  Yes, I have cats; it would be sillier than necessary to not have cats and say I am a cat lady.  For that matter, my father is as much of a cat lady as I am!  But I digress - My own cats are my joy and my therapy.  I share the responsibility of caring for our outdoor cats and kittens with my father and find as much amusement in them as my own.  I have successfully returned to school after a 15 year hiatus during which (and still) endured many health problems.  My days and nights are booked with quiet satisfaction and accomplishment.  I find solice in the beautiful things in this life and strive to keep a positive attitude when things get tough.  Being a proud aunt and daffy sister as well as an extremely grateful daughter, I am very close with my family and thankful for everything that each one of them does for me.  My world is simple and unflashy but it is mine.